Judging and the Need to Protect Yourself
Where does this intense self-judgment come from? People try to protect themselves from things they have no control over (everything). Sometimes our judgments are hereditary. Ideas get passed down from the generations before and worn like an old overcoat. It’s a powerful urge – the urge to protect yourself. We judge things, people, situations … in order not to feel the fear of being judged ourselves. The loneliness and harsh judging of ourselves can be too painful. Only when we are willing to bump up against our personal cage and maybe nudge our way through it, tiny baby step by tiny baby step, can we squeeze through the bars and get outside. Outside our mind. If you try to bust through the cage too quickly, the panic can set you back even further.
Relax behind the mind. If things come up that bother you, don’t judge them and avoid them … just let them come and then let them go. I went through a period in my life for years when, throughout the night, I would wake up every hour. I tried everything … sleep teas, melatonin, meditating, rain soundtracks, no TV.… They all helped me relax a little. In the end, though, the thing that worked best was that I just accepted that if I wasn’t sleeping, at least I was resting, and no one ever died from lack of sleep – so that would have to be good enough. When I let the judgment and angst of not sleeping go, it went away (for the most part).
We have to accept and honor and appreciate our true selves – or we will just walk around judging and feeling oh so sensitive to any perceived “slight” we might come across on any day. Someone hasn’t returned my phone call … does that mean they don’t like me? All depends on how I choose to spin it. Maybe. Maybe they forgot … or they’re busy and are waiting to call back when they have more time to really speak with you. Don’t then, in turn, judge THEM for not calling back … the mind is so busy. Too busy. Just stop.